How to Live Big and Create Life Meaning and Purpose
This article and video will explain to you the number one way we all self sabotage. And how we can live big, with life meaning and purpose.
This is important, because, by nature, we all pretty much it backwards. Which dooms us to lives of frustration, under-achievement and a lack of intrinsic fulfillment and happiness than we can otherwise have.
There are few absolutes or universals when it comes to the human experience — other than the biological absolutes we all share.
However, we do share some universal psychological dynamics.
And No, I Don’t Mean Death and Taxes
Yes, we are all born. And, indeed, once born, it follows that we all must die, biologically speaking anyway.
But there’s at least one other thing all human beings are bound by. And, in fact, much like life itself, we experience it every moment of every day of our lives.
And what is that one other thing? Well, it’s pretty simple and its directly tied to life itself.
Each and every moment of our existence, we all want more.
We want more life. More security. More health. More happiness. More fulfillment. More inner peace. More relevance and importance. More love. And so on…
We are all driven to have more. We all want to live big and to matter.
But…
Our Biology and Psychology, Work Against Our Life Purpose
Evolution engineered our brains for survival in a relatively wild, isolated & dangerous world. This process unfolded over hundreds of thousands of years. Millions of years when we include our predecessor species.
Our brains evolved to, first and foremost, recognize and avoid danger. To survive, not to live big.
As such, our brains instinctively, unconsciously and constantly seek out potential threats. Then the fight or flight mechanism drives us to fight, flee or freeze.
However, today our needs and drives have evolved well beyond simple, physical survival.
Today, we seek fulfillment, happiness and complex productivity and contribution well beyond our physical survival. We seek intrinsic fulfillment and extrinsic success.
In a complex, modern world that presents few true threats to our existence, but a myriad of complex rules and dynamics that our species didn’t much have to concern itself with for hundreds of thousands of years.
Our biological brains haven’t had time to keep up with the evolutionary explosion of our complex, modern individual and societal needs and rules.
(When you’re done with this video or article, check out this very popular 5-minute video with 5 Positive Mindset Strategies)
Fulfillment, Life Meaning and Success Require Self-Leadership
To achieve our strongest drives and needs in the modern age — such as personal fulfillment and professional success — we must lead ourselves. Often, we must also lead others. And we must lead habitually and at consistently high levels.
This is much more complex and potentially untenable than the daily physical survival our brains are engineered for. Success and fulfillment today require us to habitually inspire passionate, creative focus and productivity out of ourselves — and out of other people.
Our Brains Want to Be Safe, Not to Live Big
But our brains are designed to seek threats and run. And they are designed to seek, and take, the path of least resistance.
Our brains are not designed to actively seek creative opportunities, then move passionately and industriously towards them. Because this is dangerous. We could fail. We could be harmed emotionally, possibly even physically — and this is not the avoidance off threat that controls our brains.
Nor is this the path of least resistance.
So, our brains are not engineered for modern fulfillment and success. Our brains still, by nature, seek (and imagine) threats to avoid at all costs.
If you’re committed to professional and personal growth, subscribe to my blog and to my YouTube Channel and you’ll get FREE, ongoing training in Life and Leadership Skills.
Our Minds Complicate Things Further
What’s more, our minds (our psychology) further complicates things.
The highest human drive and need is to BE actualized. To BE creatively successful in our passions and gifts. To BE important and to BE valuable to other people. Our highest drive is to BE of personal power so that we reliably and significantly affect our world with our gifts and passions.
But, most of us, most of the time, have things backwards. While our highest drive for actualization means to BE actualized (as opposed to HAVE actualization), we somehow misconstrue our need as being one of having more. As in, more material things we can see with our eyes and touch with our hands. Things like more money, more home, more power, etc. (While we can’t see more power, like we can see more money, we nevertheless can see the effects in the world of having more power).
But even with something intangible, such as power, having power itself is different from being powerful. Being is more intrinsic. More inseparable from that from which it comes. Whereas having something is more external and transient. Here today, gone tomorrow.
Even with many aspects of power that are transient by nature, when we speak of someone “being powerful,” as in a CEO or a politician… even that definition of being is transient. For the CEO won’t always be CEO. And the politician won’t always hold office.
To Be or Not to Be
While we all do want to have things. What the human spirit most wants is to BE more: We want to be more fulfilled, be more at peace, more happy, more relevant, more personally powerful, more capable and effective, more important, more impactful, etc.
We mistakenly think that having more will satiate our higher need to be more.
But having more are only external symbols of being more. These symbols may or may not have any direct relationship with our actual beingness. In any event, they do not equate with beingness.
Don’t get me wrong, having more is a good thing. It’s much better than not having more. But having more does not fulfill or satiate our core need to BE more. Having more might, at best, be merely an external representation of accomplishing things in the world.
Doing More is Also Important, but Again, Not Enough
The smarter and more industrious among us also focus on the DOING more.
But, most often, we do this, because we realize that to have more, we must do more.
So, we are still focused on and driven by the having of external things.
But, again, we have it backwards. Having things is always transitory.
When we have a car, that car will eventually pass. It will rust, break and become useless.
Even when we have peace, it will pass. When we have personal power, it’s something we temporarily possess. Because possessions always pass.
Having is, by its nature, transitory.
Live Big – Be the Change
On the other hand: when we ARE something. When we are in a state of BEING regarding something, then that thing is, by definition, an integral and inseparable part of who we are; of our very BEINGNESS — as a human being, in our current form.
This may sound like semantics, but I think this is important. Because this is what we are all most after. We want to BE relevant. We want to BE important. We don’t want to have peace or have relevance or have importance. We want to be them.
We want to FEEL and BELIEVE that these are integral and inseparable parts of our very existence. Yes, of our beingness.
Things that we have, are things that we possess. And possessions always pass. And possessions are never a part of who we are. They are never a part of our being. They are things we possess for a brief time.
(Here’s a popular 5-minute video with 3 Peak Productivity Strategies)
Doing: Sometimes the Path to Being
But, don’t get me wrong. Doing absolutely is an important component of being. Doing can be, and often is, integral to being.
In fact, doing may be necessary to truly being something.
We can’t be benevolent without corresponding benevolent doing/action.
We can’t even be relatively passive things, such as being peaceful or being at peace, without making the choice to use our life energy in a peaceful manner.
Nor can we be successful without considerable doing on our part.
Doing, Yes. But the Intention Matters
But our doing must be driven by an intention that is to be something and not to have something.
Again, for example, if we do something benevolent with the intention of having the perception or result of benevolence, we are, at some level, violating benevolence. We are taking benevolent action, at least in part, for selfish reasons and not for benevolent reasons.
On the other hand, if we actually do benevolence — if we do something to benefit another — and if our only intention is to be benevolent, that is, our sole intention is to benefit another, without concern for ourselves. Then, by definition, we are being benevolent. Benevolence is and can only be a result of benevolent action driven only by benevolent intention.
Being In and Of Itself Does Matter
But still, even the most benevolent person might not feel themselves to be benevolent. And the most empowered person might not feel themselves particularly empowered. This might be unusual, but it’s certainly not unheard of. And what, how and who we choose to be in our self-identity and life experience does matter. It matters in our experience. And it matters, in that, it will affect our actions — our doings.
For it’s part, our beingness is, I believe, most often and most substantially shown in our DOINGNESS. In the actions we choose to take. Including their quality, frequency and duration.
Again, mostly identified by the intention we have in our doing.
The human spirit is most inspired, driven, productive and fulfilled by doing more. But by doing that is driven by and associated to our highest BEING more, and not by doing that we associate to having more. Being such as being of service; being of value; being relevant to humanity.
Live at Peace. Live Altruistically. Give. Live Big
Studies by industrial psychologists show, and common sense tells us, that in the work environment, and in life in general, you and I are most driven to exceptional and sustained behavior, action and results by things for which we find deep, personal meaning. We are most driven and we are most fulfilled by DOING things that provide us a deep sense of BEING more in our hearts and minds.
Almost all of us, almost all of the time, are most driven by DOING things that provide us a deep and abiding personal sense of BEING important to other people. Of BEING able to make a difference. Of BEING of personal power to make use of our passions and gifts.
When we master our primary being drives, through mastery of Inner Peace, Presence, Personal Power AND Productivity, we kill two birds with one stone: We are, a priori, happier and more fulfilled. But, we are also more productive. And, by being more productive, more positive, more energized, and more engaged, we position ourselves to Do much more.
And, as a result, we will almost certainly have much, much more.
There are Techniques to Do This
In our training together, whether for Peak Performance as a Leader many thousands of people or Peak Performance of leading only yourself, you and I will use proven techniques for you to hack and optimize your neuro-biological brain AND your psychological mind.
As a result, we will rewire your brain and mind to BE, DO and HAVE your dreams and potential.
We will optimize you for PEAK BEING: That is, for Peak Experiences, moment by moment, day after day.
We will optimize you for PEAK DOING: That is, for Peak Performance, moment by moment, day after day.
Here’s an article in Forbes on Life Purpose.
And, we will optimize you for PEAK HAVING: That is, for Peak Results, in your impact in your world, in your deliverables you create and in your rewards you reap, for yourself and for and through others.
Live Big friends. With passion and purpose.If you’re committed to professional and personal growth, subscribe to my blog and to my YouTube Channel and you’ll get FREE, ongoing training in Life and Leadership Skills.
